Doughnuts in Kent...

We all thought it was empty promises, but no! Last night Jason Hall brought us doughnuts! This made us very happy, and also a bit jammy. Thank you Jason, doughnuts will always be very welcome. This morning when I arrived at work I was faced with the difficult choice of a doughnut for breakfast or a satsuma. I'm still deciding; it's a tough call.

It's that time again, time to transcript another of our more interesting phone calls. The majority of the people who call are lovely, and I really enjoy having a chat, but every now and then we just get the odd one who makes me wonder about the levels of insanity in the surrounding areas.

It's 4.58pm in the afternoon.
ring ring
"Good afternoon, Big Red L, Amanda speaking."
"Yeah, I wonder if you can help me, what it is, yeah..."
My heart sinks. 2 minutes before the end of my working day and I've lucked out and picked up to a "what it is, yeah". I know from experience that anyone who says this will be talking at me for the best part of 15 minutes. I sigh inwardly and the chap on the other end continues:
"What it is, yeah, is that I need a driving test. Do you do driving tests?"
A gleam of hope! Maybe he's rung the wrong number and is actually after booking a test - this does tend to happen once or twice a week. I answer
"We do driving lessons."
"Nah nah nah. Driving tests."
"We give driving lessons that lead to a driving test, is that what you mean?"
"Yeah. I've got my test booked on Saturday."
"Ah. In that case then I don't think we can help."
Our instructors are usually booked up at least a week in advance, and very rarely can do just a test at such short notice. Especially not on a Saturday. I tell him as much, apologetically.
"Can you see about cancellations?"
I tell him that the odds of an instructor in the area he's booked his test having a pupil cancel at the exact time he's booked his test are not in his favour. He refuses to accept this new infomation.
"Can you just check, yeah?"
"Ok, well whereabouts is your test booked?"
"In Kent."
"Where in Kent?"
"I don't know!"
"You've got a test booked on Saturday and you don't know where?"
"Can you find out for me?"
"No, I'm afraid I don't have access to that sort of infomation."
I feel like I'm in a bad Hollywood movie saying that, but it just came out.
"Well it's in Kent."
"I can't help you if you don't know where your test is booked."
"Does it matter? It's in Kent!"
He is getting irate. I find that they always do during this type of call.
"Look, if you're going to take your test on Saturday, you need to know where it is."
"This is f***ing ridiculous."
I wholeheartedly agree. Something occurs to me.
"Do you actually know how big Kent is?"
"Er...."
"It's about three or four times the size of London."
There is a pause, and then,
"Oh. I'll call back."
He doesn't.