Another one...

I wonder whether Tony has asked people to phone up and pretend to be insane just to keep me entertained whilst he's on holiday. I would not put it past him. So for your entertainment, here is a transcript of the last phone call I had.

Ring ring...
"Good morning, Big Red L, Amanda speaking..."
"Yes I want you help me please."
My hearing, as pointed out on occassion by driving instructor for Folkestone Peter Blight, is not that hot. But I think even the non-hearingly challenged would have had a problem understanding this chap.
"... I'm sorry?"
"Leshon! Absol!"
"... Do you want lessons?"
"No! Absol! Birmingham!"
"If you're in Birmingham I'm afraid we can't help because we only cover Kent."
"Yes, leshon Birmingham."
"We don't cover Birmingham."
"Yes."
"No, I'm sorry, I don't think we can help."
"Yes. Birmingham. Leshon."
It went on like this for a while before I decided to try a different tactic.
"Have you got your provisional licence?"
I doubt he has, and I'm hoping I can get rid of him by telling him to go get one.
"No, I call, absol. Absol licence!"
"Absol?"
"Yes, absol. You gib me number. Absol."
I began to worry whether absol is an insult and whether I should be offended.
"I don't think we can help you. You need to get your provisional licence before you can start lessons, and once you've got that you should probably call a Birmingham based company instead of one in Kent."
"Gib me number."
"What, the number for Birmingham?"
"Yes. Absol."
I give up.
"I don't know what you mean."
He sighs, and I feel a bit sorry. Even though he's rubbish, he knows more of my language than I do of his, which could possibly be whatever language they speak on the moon.
"I call. No lesson, no absol. Absol licence."
Does... does 'absol' possibly mean 'provisional'? Could it?
"Your absol licence?"
"Yes!"
Clearly, we are now on the same page. I give him the website address for the provisional licence, and hope that once he gets it he never ever calls us back. I resign myself to the fact that he probably will. Absol.